Shmooze from Durgagirl on twitter

Husband is a smart man. Upon finding a long grey hair on his shirt.. he adamantly denied it was mine.

shmooze from Durgagirl on twitter

How many times do I have to tell you.. it's "YES CHEF" not "YES hon". Now can you hand me the peanut butter?

7:48 PM Jan 11th from Tweetie

shmooze from Durgagirl on twitter

You promise me right NOW young man.. you will NEVER hit your brother again.. around my computer. Got that?

2:55 PM Jan 11th from Tweetie 
 




Nope. You're right. My key is NOT going to open YOUR car no matter how long I stand here trying.

3:27 PM Jan 11th from Tweetie

shmooze from Durgagirl on twitter

Sitting for the last 10 min. in the parking lot of Whole Foods waiting for the car with it's lights on.. to back itself out.

12:56 PM Jan from Tweetie

Told my MIL's dementia friends about the time I couldn't find my shoes cuz.. I was WEARING them.They laughed at me. Insensitive beeotches.

12:42 PM Jan from Tweetie 




People on my MIL Ru's dementia floor jumped for joy when I dumped ice water all over the lunch table. Dang I'm good.

12:24 PM Jan from Tweetie

Shmooze from Durgagirl on twitter

I don't perform well under pressure, so I WISH the lady who's motioning for me to cross the street fast.. would stop gunning her engine.

10:34 AM Jan from Tweetie

Child is surprised he's in a time out. That'll teach him to tell me I sound like MY mother.. when I shout at him.

10:06 AM Jan from Tweetie

"Mom.. you served us foul & rancid taco shells for dinner & for that we ask you to pack your knives & go. You are NOT top chef."

7:18 AM Jan from Tweetie

shmooze from Durgagirl on twitter

Know a 3-6 month old that would enjoy a shrunk-to-fit Banana Republic cashmere sweater in chocolate to go with their A-line pencil skirt?

9:12 PM Jan 8th from web

shmooze from Durgagirl on twitter

Meh. Was alerted that my MIL Ru (dementia) woke up at 1:00am yelling,"What in GAWDS name have I got on? There are CUPCAKES on my PJ's."

11:37 AM Jan from Tweetie 




Money laundering HAS way more appeal then just plain laundering so maybe I'd do better at THAT. Or not.

10:23 PM Jan from web

My thoughts have gone up in price since the last time you offered a penny. Give me a buck and we'll have something to talk about..dear.

4:10 PM Jan from web 




Hey girl sticking her bare hand in the nut bin at WHOLE FOODS. I took YOUR PICTURE and now I'm going to.. delete it. THAT'LL teach you.

2:10 PM Jan from Tweetie